Old Myspace Blog Entries- For Posterity: Coastal Transition

Wednesday, February 21, 2007

some sound sleep

Me: "I can't sleep.. I get so uncomfortable in my pajamas."

My Mother: "You should just sleep naked. I used to do that all the time... it's more comfortable. I would do it all the time if I were you."

Me: "Why don't you do it now?"

My Mother: "Children... fires."

Sunday, February 04, 2007

UGG
Current mood: cold

Actual conversation that took place in my family kitchen:

Dad: "For some reason the Shneeburgers think there might be no school tomorrow."

Me: "Well it might be because of how cold it is." (At times today it was -20 with a -30 wind chill factor)

Mom and Dad: (Aghast) "No…"

Mom: "The only time they have ever canceled school it was seventy below…and they actually have had it a couple times when it was about that cold…"

Dad: "… and it's not going to be that cold tomorrow. There isn't supposed to be any wind."
I might also add that people commonly (and rightfully) speak of the Midwest as having no style. Well screw you. You try to look nice while you are in winter survival mode. It's hard enough just to look like a human.
I really should have stayed in California a bit longer. I'm sure my mood would be a bit better if I arrived here during a more hospitable month.

Wednesday, January 31, 2007

money money money money

I mentioned in the last blog posting that I was quite taken aback to recently learn that some people really are just doing it for the money. It = Everything.

Of course I knew that people get caught up in the whole money thing. I always figured when they sat down and were really questioned they would reluctantly reply that they have indeed lost sight of the things that really mattered: family, personal lives, relationships, etc.

I also thought that many people just happened to love or have talents in things that make more money they say… costume design. They just "happened" to be really good at business; it wasn't so much about the dough but was more of an added bonus. (And too bad for you if you just "happen" to be really good at play and character analysis as well as sketching and garments).

It really wasn't until I lived with Mr. Q and saw his reading material such as "Why You Want to be Rich" and read a few pages that I realized that I was way off base. The chapter on "why some people still today in some religions organizations and other groups think it is wrong to have money" and was basically about "why it's okay to consume more than you need and be super greedy and still sleep well at night" made me a little ill. (I considered changing the dust jacket to read "Why You Want to be a Philanthropist".)

My topic was further proven when I got into a discussion with one of my friends (whom I respect) who basically stated he was against the implications of our societal system of judging something to be right or wrong- animalistic behavior is animalistic behavior and that's just the way it is. Although he hates the justice system he is studying to be a lawyer to save money for a very comfortable "last 40 years".

After realizing "the American way" I was actually a bit surprised at my surprise. Of course people are working for the money. I've seen "My Super Sweet Sixteen" and "The Real Housewives of Orange County". This is America- where have I been?

It's been made quite clear to me the last few days where I've been-

Growing up in a house with my father.

My father is the type of guy who has always been proud on what he lives without more than with. This is a man, after getting his masters in biology, took his young wife and child (me) to live and care for a nature refuge, without pay, for the first years of my life. He's definitely a nature-work-survival man.

I recall a time when I was in grade school when I stated that someone's mother in my class worked at McDonalds, and I was happy that my mother didn't due to the sheer embarrassment. My mother was above working at McDonalds. I was heavily scolded for that ideology.

When my mom was hosting her "Craft Club" (aka women getting out of the house to drink together) a couple nights ago to a low-key spa night my dad asked why she spends time with the "mucky-mucks". THESE ARE WOMEN WHO CALL THEMSELVES THE "CRAFT CLUB" NOT "SNOBS-R-US". However, add the words "spa" and "wine" and they are suddenly "mucky-mucks".

My father seems to have an aversion to affluence; in the least he finds it silly and a waste of time to ever think of "keeping up with the Jones".

All in all- where does that leave me today?

It has been instilled in me that one is not too good for any type of employment. (Come on – corn detasseling was my first job… although the knowledge has come in handy to scare the "city folk" when I speak of the sex of plants). However, I don't necessarily believe that anymore. My mother had a fricken Masters degree- she was above McDonalds. I do understand not thinking you are above a human being doing any job in our society. However, I (and my mother) am smart and talented enough to not be okay doing certain lines of work. It has taken me a long time to think that that was an okay thing to believe.

On a positive note, it has also made me have a bit of revulsion to excess and the type of greed-to-impress lifestyle. I have nothing against money. I need to make money; going into a creative field would be a hell of a lot easier if I already had it. And lord knows I like to eat out at nice places and would love the ability to pick out nice clothes, shoes, etc. However, the sheer abandon some have on how to get it and its end-all-be-all importance is disgusting to me. It is important to have a clear worldview, see just how lucky we are, and not take advantage of that with wasteful excess.

So here I am, searching through Craig's List NYC for a job- weighing the pros and cons on money jobs, pleasure jobs, part time jobs, jobs with benefits, jobs with responsibility, jobs without responsibility, money, money, guilt and money, and just trying to figure it all out.

Speaking of plays...or not... Harry Potter is staring in Equis. I'm scared and a little impressed. Nice job Hermione!

Wednesday, January 24, 2007

fin

After an intense drive home with my mama I have finally arrived back to the village. The trip included driving for16 hours/day, sketchy hotel rooms (where I caught an unconfirmed case of ringworm), and meals of bread, bread, cheese, bread, cheezeits, chocolate, and cheese.

Thank goodness my mom was with me. Perhaps because it was winter this time instead of summer like the last, but I forgot how desolate it is in the middle of the country. It is almost unconceivable in our fully connected society to imagine hundreds and hundreds of miles where there is literally nothing but Mother Nature and the wilds. It is impossible to explain, and I couldn't have imagined it before taking the trip (again for the second time).

I will miss San Francisco. Walking down the streets I felt like I was home, which is unique for me. I also learned a lot. For example: one does not have to live in a place where the weather is so hellish you want to slit your wrists when January rolls around. Biking is a great way of life but MUNI rails, taxi cabbies and bus drivers will run you ass over without a second glance. The war on drugs did not hit the west coast. GENERALLY, Californians are diverse, laid back, and liberal, but can be flakes and assume that they deserve all their wants. (To their credit they can generally attain those wants in the wealth that makes up the state). Some people deep down just want to make money and don't feel guilty about that fact (which was a surprisingly shocking thing for me to learn). Some people are still trying to change humanity and get their voices heard. People are generally trusting, and if you are willing to be a bit sketch you can go a long, long time without paying money for rent.

They most important thing I learned was that I can do it. I moved to a place and made it work. I really am proud of what I did there even if it was a short time. I stayed in a trailer, a co-op, a million dollar marina home, a family style Berkeley place, and a college apartment. I watched a dog, a cat, worked two money jobs, and had four theater gigs. I was able to see theater and opera, and I meet really great people. Everything really does work out, and I am excited to see what NYC brings in the future.


A sketch hotel upstate of Willits, CA- my personal hell and scary, backwoods, hippy-went-bad town.