September 26, 2007: I finally turned twenty-four.
Twenty-four is a loaded age for me- I always thought it would be when I would get married. When I was young I felt like it was a good age to grow up and be an adult…. I can’t even comment on that now.
Although I won’t say it wasn’t a long time coming.
I had been lying/tricking myself into believing I was twenty-four about six months before the proper date. Twenty-three just felt too young, awkward, and ignorant. Twenty- four seemed to have it together while still holding on to wide-eyed dreams. (Yes. I will be one of those women who lie about age. Don’t be surprised if I’m twenty-four for a very long time.)
To celebrate the date had a (despite a few bumps in the night) lovely potluck at my house with dear friends. Lots of food and wine was consumed, and since the fall feeling of “nesting” has overtaken me, Day One twenty-four felt fat and lonely. Gladly the feeling has faded and I have felt good…. except when I came home tonight…
My dear friend Taline gave me the most wonderful birthday present: a goldfish. Oh how I have wanted a pet, and oh how I loved that little fish.
That little fish is now dead.
Yes, five days into my possession he called it a day and went belly up, which is exactly where I found him this evening.
I speculated
earlier that since I cannot take care of any plant life properly I should not go up the biological caretaking chain. This only further supports that claim and proves that I can never have a dog. Now THAT is sad.
