I wonder if any boys think I'M cute..... ?

My mom “happened” to see my little sister’s journal. (I yelled at her.)

The entry of the best middle-schooler in the world read:

Things that are on My Mind Today:

1) How much I miss Erin
2) I wonder if any boys think I’m cute?

That definitely makes my "all time favorite things ever" list.

Reading (dead) Tea Leaves: Future Bleak

I do not trust people who cannot keep a plant alive. A plant needs the basic, barebones TLC to keep a living thing….well…living. If you can’t keep a plant alive you really shouldn’t move up the “caretaking totem pole”, which includes small animals, babies, and, really, any other basic relationship.

There is a very expensive, very dead orchid plant in my boss’ offices.

I am one of those people who don’t do plants.

I am nervous for my future.

.....Not to mention of my boss as well......

MJC MADNESS!

Just as quickly as he came he is leaving again. MJC is off into the wild world, working this summer in Nantucket (where I will visit him as frequently as possible). I will miss the crazy creature and the fun that ensues.

Scene: The Murry Hill home of Mel and MJC, 33rd floor apartment overlooking other high-rises.

As I’m telling a story, MJC looks out the window and spots a smoker on his terrace.

“Gimmie the binoculars.”

Mel pulls out a pair and MJC peers at the man, obviously no longer listening to my story.

I get frustrated at the lack of attention as he fiddles with the lenses.

“Sorry, sorry. I’m focusing on someone else right now. Literally focusing.”

We take turns gawking at the man.

Later, we interview people to sublet MJC’s room for the next couple months. Even though he wasn’t going to be sharing the apartment while he was there, the “winner” was the cutest boy that stopped by (tall, dark, handsome, sporty, lawyer).

“He’s going to be in my sheets. I’m rolling in them when I get back.”

We finish the day by learning a snappy tap dance routine that MJC choreographed. Mel and I are rough, but there is nothing like getting a direct “5,6,7,8” from him to get your heart pumping.

I love this man:

My Diabolical Plan for Peace of Mind

Nantucket was just the ticket.

It was incredible: food, fun, friends, drinks, sun, beach. The Diamonds are a pretty remarkable family and so, so lovely- wonderful hosts. Even after gaining 20 lbs, feeling like I should join AA, and sporting a pretty remarkable sunburn, I left with a great sense of peace and wellbeing. I love the beach and the laid back attitude that one can’t help but adopt when viewing something so big, powerful, and completely out of one’s control. I love love love New York and, at the moment, can’t imagine being in any other city; however, I think I will always be the type of person who needs to get back to something peaceful and green once in awhile. As I’ve discussed with Claire earlier this week, give me New York or give me the middle of nowhere.

New Goal: Marry Kevin Diamond through trickery, good looks, feminine wilds/stage a coup/ over take his home/ live happily ever after.

(Just take one for the team Mel; I’ll give you the master bedroom when you visit).

Virtually There

I am so bored with myself.

The same three topics keep flipping through my head to such an extent that little else is allowed room to express itself.

1) Job (What??)

2) Money (How??)

3) Housing (Where??)

Throw in the thoughts on

4) Love/happiness (Who??)

and you just entered my brain.

The combinations and the thoughts on the extent to which the topics should be balanced against each other are endless: money + job, job + love, love + money, money + housing, housing + love…. Etc. etc. etc.

These questions about my future cause me no pleasure, and, as no real answers can be found at the time being, the never ending cycle is digging my emotional self into a hole a shovel full of thoughts at a time.

I feel like slapping myself Carol Burnett/Gone with the Wind/Mammie style to try to break the manic synapse obsession.

I’m going to Kevin’s house on Nantucket this weekend. I’m hoping that the change of scenery will jumpstart something in my brain that will adjust my outlook and thought process.

It really isn’t that serious. I’m just over it. Bored with my tedium.

In other news I had a great weekend with my friend from Syracuse, Jason. He was in town to assist the lighting designer of the Tony’s (which also was my ‘in’ to see the dress rehearsal of the show- very exciting). We also were able to see Grey Gardens (disappointing, but we saw an understudy performance). Went out Friday, recovered with theatre - all in all not a bad way to spend a weekend.

MJC: The Secret

I am pleased to state that MJC (friend and fellow ex-senior rep from
Syracuse) is back in NYC after a long, southern children's tour of
Pinocchio and is as lovely as ever.

MJC is a character -very fun, very comedic, and always is a bouncing ball of pleasure to hang out with.

He also is hard and fast proof of my life philosophy.

At Syracuse I was watching Big Love with Mel and Claire. An All State commercial come on. Plot: a wife backs over the foot of her husband in a car. He has to go to the hospital. All State is there.

I didn’t agree that getting your foot ran over by a car would result in a hospital visit. RE: weight distribution between all four tires, protection from the combination of rubber/air in tires/shoes. It was pretty clear everyone thought I was on crack. After a substantial argument I stated I was going to have MJC (who was coming to pick us up from Mel’s) run over my foot with his car to prove I was correct. After much more disagreement MJC arrived (who knew nothing of our “foot smashing” speak). We met him at his car. He thought everyone had gotten in. I did not. He pulled away. He RAN COMPLETELY OVER MY FOOT.

I had never spoken about getting my foot ran over nor had I gotten it ran over in the past. Both occurred that night 15 min apart.

I have always believed that one brings or manifests the type of life they want/need. I truly believe from the big picture- relationships, environment, etc- to the mundane- a foot incident- one controls every aspect of what they allow in their lives. I feel like every time my life is in flux it is such an important thing for me to stay aware of. I am where I am and doing what I’m doing because of the life I have created for myself. Oprah has now popularized this idea with The Secret. MJC proved it to me with a vehicle.

And no. No, it does not hurt to get your foot ran over by a car. Pressure, yes. All State? No.